<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>i like you very much, too by goblinonmars</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24870088">i like you very much, too</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/goblinonmars/pseuds/goblinonmars'>goblinonmars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cardcaptor Sakura</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, also spelling syaoran's name "xiao lang", like its supposed to be, tomomei centric</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:40:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,335</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24870088</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/goblinonmars/pseuds/goblinonmars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After six long years, Meiling visits Japan again to see Tomoyo. Without the distractions of magic, she notices nuances from her childhood that weren't there before. Luckily, she has Tomoyo to help her fill in the gaps.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Daidouji Tomoyo/Li Meiling, Kinomoto Sakura/Li Syaoran, Kinomoto Touya/Tsukishiro Yukito, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i like you very much, too</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> “I like you very much, too.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “What’s this all of a sudden?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “So… If something happens, please think of me.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “… Sure.” </em>
</p><p>-<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Meiling doesn’t know why her heart always betrays her at the most crucial moments, but it was pounding so hard she couldn’t sleep. </p><p> </p><p>She stares at the bumps on the ceiling for a bit, then rolls over to check her phone once again. The light blinds her and she squints. It was four in the morning, meaning she’d have to leave for the airport in two hours, and she’s had no sleep. </p><p> </p><p>Meiling was screwed. </p><p> </p><p>She types in her password and her phone betrays her by immediately opening to her last text conversation with Tomoyo. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> T: I will be waiting for you at baggage claim. Have a good night’s rest!  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> M: ok! see you at three!  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> T: Sweet dreams &lt;3 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Meiling can feel her face heating up and she shuts off her phone, turning back to the ceiling. Vague shadows move across it, cast in from the moonlight outside her window. She’s never liked sleeping with the curtains closed, the darkness scared her. Distantly, she remembers the way Tomoyo held onto her as she cried into her skirt that fateful day. It’s been years and she’s still ashamed at the bitter leftovers of her unreciprocated feelings, though Sakura was practically a sister to her at this point. </p><p> </p><p>Sakura, who was off on a big adventure in England with Xiao Lang and that plush toy, searching for more secrets of Clow. Sakura, who Meiling begrudgingly could never grow to hate. Her heart was so big, Meiling felt swallowed up by it sometimes, especially when it came to Xiao Lang. They complimented each other so well, just like Meiling and Xiao Lang were when they were kids, but deep down even she knew there was something different about the way Sakura and Xiao Lang loved versus herself and Xiao Lang. Who was she to put herself in between that? </p><p> </p><p>She’s moved on. She knows she has. She really only reflects on it during restless nights like these. With a sigh, Meiling shuffles to face the wall, falling asleep to the soft thrums of her heartbeat. </p><p>-</p><p>Hong Kong International was one of the biggest airports in the world, and Meiling had already gotten lost twice. At least the noodle restaurants were good. </p><p> </p><p>Somehow, Meiling manages to find her flight minutes before it’s scheduled to leave, and takes a seat next to a little kid holding a plastic airplane. Great. And here she was thinking she could catch up on some sleep. </p><p> </p><p>The kid tugs on her sleeve as she sits. </p><p> </p><p>“Big sister, are you also going to Japan?” </p><p> </p><p>Meiling nods, trying to mask her exhaustion behind a smile. </p><p> </p><p>“Why are you visiting?” the kid stares at her with wide eyes. Oh, well. She has never been able to resist children. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m visiting a friend!” </p><p> </p><p>“Girl friend or boy friend?” the kid asks, and Meiling sputters. </p><p> </p><p>“She’s--” Suddenly she thinks about how Tomoyo used to smell like peaches, probably from one of her mom’s perfumes. Meiling swallows. “She’s a girl.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, okay! I’m visiting my granny. She’s sick,” the kid immediately says, and Meiling opens her mouth, not really knowing how to respond. </p><p> </p><p>Thankfully, she’s saved by who she assumes is the kid’s mom, making her way down the aisle and back to the seat. </p><p> </p><p>“Fei, don’t bother the nice girl,” she scolds, then looks at Meiling with a sheepish smile. “Sorry about her.” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s no problem! We had a fun chat, right?” Meiling grins at Fei, who nods happily. </p><p> </p><p>The rest of the flight goes pretty smoothly, seeing as Meiling fell asleep right when the plane took off. She wakes up from a pretty bad patch of turbulence. Fei is crying next to her, her mom hugging her close. </p><p> </p><p>“My ears hurt, my ears hurt!” she whines. </p><p> </p><p>Meiling rustles through her backpack and pulls out a pack of gum, tapping Fei’s shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>“Chew this, it’ll make you feel better. It’s strawberry flavored.” </p><p> </p><p>Fei stops crying, staring at the package, and looks to her mom. </p><p> </p><p>“Go ahead.” she nods, and Fei takes a strip out hesitantly, popping it into her mouth. She chews apprehensively, clutching her ears and squeezing her eyes shut. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, it works!” she looks at Meiling in amazement. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve been on a lot of flights.” Meiling winks cheekily. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re so cool,” Fei says, eyes shining. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.” her mom smiles at Meiling. </p><p> </p><p>Meiling blushes, overwhelmed by the attention. The plane hits another bad patch and she bounces in the seat. </p><p> </p><p>Finally, they land. Fei is tearful as they have to part by the connecting flights, apparently they were going to Osaka, while Tomoeda was near Tokyo. </p><p> </p><p>“Bye, big sister! I hope we see each other again!” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes.” Meiling pats her head. “It was nice to meet you!” </p><p> </p><p>She watches the automatic doors close past them and heads down the other way to customs. Her nap made her a bit more energized, so she walks with a spring in her step. Plus, the realization that she was going to see Tomoyo after four long years was finally hitting her. The last time they’d seen each other was in middle school, when Meiling went to visit Sakura, but life quickly got in the way after that, with Meiling continuing her martial arts studies with Wei. She wanted to be just as powerful as Xiao Lang and Sakura, even if she didn’t have magical abilities, but in turn neglected a lot of her relationships. </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t realize how much she misses Tomoyo, and to a lesser degree, all her other Tomoeda friends like Chiharu, Naoko, Rika, and even Yamazaki. She knows Tomoyo went on to be a designer. Daidouji Electronics also had a clothing brand now, one that was quite popular in the streetwear scene. She’s even seen Tomoyo on the cover of a gossip magazine once, speculating about how she’s had no boyfriend. It was strange and a bit disheartening to see her close friend dehumanized in celebrity culture. To her, Tomoyo has always just been Tomoyo. </p><p> </p><p>Customs goes by fast as she is engrossed in her own thoughts, before she knew it, she was walking out the sliding doors to baggage claim. </p><p> </p><p>There’s a large crowd of people, fenced off with iron dividers. Most of them hold signs with names on them, and their gazes trail away from Meiling once they realize she isn’t the one they’re looking for. Meiling scans the crowd. She doesn’t see Tomoyo. Though, to be fair, it’s been a number of years since they’ve met. </p><p> </p><p>“Meiling-chan!” a soft voice calls out. </p><p> </p><p>Meiling instantly looks towards it. </p><p> </p><p>Tomoyo is in the back of the crowd, waving at her frantically. Her long, dark hair is tied into bubble braids with pink ribbons, and she wears a puffy white dress with blue flowers. </p><p> </p><p>Meiling’s breath hitches. Tomoyo has always been beautiful, but she’s much more beautiful than she remembered. </p><p> </p><p>In a daze, she runs towards Tomoyo, who holds her arms out. Meiling falls into them and a laugh spills from her throat. She still smells like peaches. </p><p> </p><p>“How are you?” she asks as they separate, though they still hold onto each other's arms. </p><p> </p><p>“Too busy for my liking.” Tomoyo sighs and casts her gaze downwards. “I never get to see anyone, and my dear Sakura is off in Europe. It hurts that I can’t film her.” </p><p> </p><p>Meiling chuckles. “You haven’t changed, Daidouji. But I guess we’re in the same boat, I’ve been pretty busy too.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I heard from Li-kun you’ve been practicing with Wei! How’s that going?” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s hard.” she swallows. “There’s a lot of patience involved which--” she stops when she sees Tomoyo giggle, holding a fist over her mouth to hide her laughter. </p><p> </p><p>“What?” </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry. Thinking about you being patient conjures a funny image in my head. It’s very out of character for you, Meiling-chan.” </p><p> </p><p>Meiling can’t even bring herself to be mad because Tomoyo seemed to be enjoying herself so much. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve done it before! The more advanced the move is, the harder it is to learn. I… lose my head sometimes.” she scratches her cheek sheepishly. </p><p> </p><p>“Practice makes perfect!” Tomoyo fully lets go of her now, instead grasping her hand. “When we get back to my house, you should teach me some moves.” </p><p> </p><p>“O-oh. Okay.” Meiling feels her face heat up. Tomoyo was strangely bold when she wanted to be. She honestly couldn’t imagine someone as gentle as her doing martial arts. Then again, Tomoyo shouldn’t be underestimated. She seemed like she had a lot of hidden power within her, and Meiling was good at reading auras, from what Wei said. </p><p> </p><p>Tomoyo leads her out of the airport, where a sleek looking car was waiting. To Meiling’s surprise, she didn’t see any bodyguards or drivers. It seemed strange, especially regarding Tomoyo’s high profile. </p><p> </p><p>“Did you come alone?” she asks. </p><p> </p><p>Tomoyo nods, closing her eyes. “After Sakura left for Europe, I realized how dependent I was on her, which made me think about how I was raised in general. People have always taken care of me, so I want to learn how to do it back.” she opens them now, staring at Meiling intensely. “Starting by being independent.” </p><p> </p><p>“Wow. Rich Kid Syndrome, huh?” Meiling teases, elbowing her. </p><p> </p><p>“I guess you can say that!” she giggles, stepping forward to open the car door for Meiling. </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks.” She takes a seat. The car smells overwhelmingly of fruity perfume with a hint of leather. Tomoyo circles around to sit in the driver’s side. </p><p> </p><p>“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Since when did you learn to drive?” </p><p> </p><p>“Who did you think was going to take us home?” Tomoyo quirks an eyebrow, mischievous. Meiling watches, bemused. Years ago, she would’ve never thought that was an expression she could make. </p><p> </p><p>“I think Sakura being away for a bit is a good thing,” she decides out loud. </p><p> </p><p>“How so?” Tomoyo tilts her head. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, for one, you’re much more fun to be around right now.” Meiling laughs. </p><p> </p><p>“Am I?” Tomoyo pushes her car keys into the lock cylinder. “I guess part of that is because Sakura encouraged me to go out on my own. ‘I’m worried for you,’ she told me, and she looked so sad, I couldn’t let her down.” </p><p> </p><p>“No, I mean. I understand.” Meiling averts her gaze. She feels the car start to move and looks out the window. “I was the same with Xiao Lang. I couldn’t really see a future without him, and low and behold, he falls in love with Sakura.” </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you find it strange how similar we are?” Tomoyo remarks, to which Meiling shrugs. </p><p> </p><p>“Not really. Sakura and Xiao Lang are magic. It’s natural to be drawn to them. At least that’s how Xiao Lang explained his crush on Yukito to me.” </p><p> </p><p>Tomoyo hums. “Li-kun’s relationship with Tsukishiro-kun seems more complicated than that to me.” </p><p> </p><p>“Really?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes. I think… it’s difficult to accept those feelings, especially when it comes to loving, uh, that stray from the norm. Part of it could be magic, but, and pardon my crudeness, it does feel a bit like an excuse as well.” Tomoyo clears her throat and grips the steering wheel tighter. </p><p> </p><p>They pull up to the ticketing booth.</p><p> </p><p>Meiling sits on what Tomoyo said while she exchanges words with the booth manager. <em> Magic being an excuse </em>? Her mind is in a whirlwind. Did that mean Xiao Lang was… gay? But no, he was with Sakura. Meiling wasn’t sure what that was called. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m confused,” she tells Tomoyo once they start driving again. “Xiao Lang couldn’t be into men, could he?” </p><p> </p><p>“Do you not remember the way he blushed at Tsukishiro-kun at the amusement park?” Tomoyo asks, sounding amused. </p><p> </p><p>“That was a long time ago, and… I was too focused on Sakura,” Meiling mutters. </p><p> </p><p>“I understand,” Tomoyo says wistfully. </p><p> </p><p>“N-not in that way!” </p><p> </p><p>“The way I see it, love is fluid. You love whoever you want to love and most of the time you can’t control it.” </p><p> </p><p>Meiling is quiet. It had been easier for her to give up on Xiao Lang because she saw how close he was with Sakura. She supposes she agrees. But… did she really love him, then? If it was so simple to pretend it never happened when all through her childhood relatives would say they would be a cute married couple, and laugh when Meiling ran to hug him. She never questioned it until now. </p><p> </p><p>At a loss, she asks Tomoyo. </p><p> </p><p>“What about you, then? Have you felt that kind of love?” </p><p> </p><p>“I… I thought I did, with Sakura. We’ve always been close and she’s so cute and strong. Lately it’s dawned on me how strange it is to love a family member in that way. I believe I loved her because she was close to me, and I’ve always naturally liked girls.” </p><p> </p><p>“You- you do?” Meiling clenches her fists in her lap. Her nails dig into her palms. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, do you have a problem with that?” There’s a note of menace in Tomoyo’s voice that sends a chill up her spine. </p><p> </p><p>“No! Of course not!” she remembers the magazine she saw about Tomoyo not dating anyone, and suddenly it all clicks. She also thinks about Xiao Lang. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you really think it’s weird to love a family member like that?” </p><p> </p><p>Tomoyo shrugs. “Personally, I’ve traced it back to some unrest in my own heart. I encourage you to think about it, too, Meiling-chan. Maybe you’ll feel less of a burden if you do so.” </p><p> </p><p>Meiling doesn’t really know how to continue the conversation after that, so they’re silent the rest of the way. </p><p> </p><p>Tomoyo is a surprisingly good driver. Actually, Meiling’s pretty impressed with just how many surprises she’s thrown at her in general. </p><p> </p><p>She’s far too tired to think deeply about what it all means, though. Things usually came to her naturally. </p><p> </p><p><em> So </em> , she decides blearily, sleep overtaking her once again, <em> she’ll just have to see what happens.  </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>phew! i started this after bingeing all 70 episodes of ccs after 10 years. i feel like this is somewhat to bring closure to my younger self as well hehe bc there were a lot of new things i noticed while rewatching :-) anyway, doing more justice to meiling's character as clamp kinda just made her a weird little love conflict for sakura and xiao lang/ syaoran and she deserves more! </p><p>not sure how niche the tomomei community is BUT ty for reading if you have &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>